UnitedHealth Group vs. New York hospitals: Are those my only choices?

MINNETONKA, Minnesota — Watching UnitedHealth Group Inc. battle Continuum Health Partners, a group of New York hospitals, is kind of like watching a spat between Wall Street bankers and politicians. Or Saddam Hussein vs. Kim Jong-Il. Or Weird Uncle Bob vs. Creepy Uncle Joe.

Exactly who do you root for?

UnitedHealth, the nation’s largest private insurer, and Continuum, which includes Beth Israel Medical Center and St. Luke’s Hospital, are locked in a bitter contract dispute, according to the New York Times. The core issue is UnitedHealth’s demand to cut payments by 50 percent if the hospitals fail to notify the company within 24 hours of a patient’s admission.

UnitedHealth says it wants to control costs and reduce patient re-admissions. The hospitals say the penalty is too harsh. Both claim the role of patient advocate.

In a larger sense, this is a public relations battle that UnitedHealth will never win. Insurance companies today are as popular as bunions. UnitedHealth, in particular, is a prime case study for Crisis Management 101, thanks to its billion-dollar profits, Backdate-Gate stock option scandals and well-publicized denials of patient coverage.

That’s why I nearly spit out my prescription meds when Dr. Sam Ho, UnitedHealth’s chief medical officer, assured the Times that the company’s push for notification had nothing to do with money.

“Absolutely, honestly, sincerely, this is a genuine attempt to try to improve outcomes for patients,” he said.

Rrighhhht.

It’s not that I don’t believe Dr. Ho. It’s just that I know no one else will believe him. In fact, I wonder if UnitedHealth should have even talked to the Times. Explaining how patient notifications improves patient outcomes to the public is like explaining geography to Miss Teen USA South Carolina. Contract disputes are probably best kept to stuffy hotel conference rooms.

But here’s the irony: UnitedHealth, I believe, occupies some high ground. The company has a well-earned reputation in the industry for controlling costs and improving care, through innovative technologies and programs like its diabetes wellness program, physician incentive pay and a computer alert system that monitors possible dangerous drug interactions.

Hospitals, on the other hand, have proven to be horrible at efficient administration. Let’s first ignore the fact that many dug themselves into a fiscal sinkhole by gleefully following everyone else off the cliff with expensive bond-fueled expansions before the economy tanked.

But just look at more basic operations — tracking equipment, organizing patient records, providing doctors and nurses with proper communications, entering proper reimbursement codes. There’s a whole industry of companies and start-ups that make their living by telling investors how horrible hospitals are at this stuff.

And then there’s the arrogance.

“When we say, ‘Show me where you went to medical school,’ then they back down,” Ruth Levin, Continuum’s chief contract negotiator, told the Times.

I’ve seen this time and time again. Doctors and patients are blameless because they save patient’s lives. One can argue this kind of self-righteous egotism is precisely what discredits their claims as effective hospital administrators.

In reality, there’s really no one to root for. Hospitals and doctors provide world-class medical care but make lousy efficiency experts. Payers are experts at, well, paying but could use some pointers on public empathy.

Perhaps UnitedHealth and Continuum should get back to the business of negotiating a contract instead of competing in a bizarre Ms. Popularity Contest, a crown that belongs to neither of them.